


darling it's better

by lady_ragnell



Series: Prompt Reposts [6]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Puns, Mermaids, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_ragnell/pseuds/lady_ragnell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a mermaid in the lake. Bossuet is not quite sure what to do about that (but it definitely involves puns).</p>
            </blockquote>





	darling it's better

**Author's Note:**

> Expanded a bit from a ficlet on tumblr. The title is, of course, from "Under the Sea" from The Little Mermaid.

“There’s a mermaid in the lake,” Bossuet says, mug clutched in his hands as he looks out over the porch of the cabin they’re renting for the week. It’s an idyllic morning, all sparkly sun on the lake and faint sounds of birds in the distance, so the mermaid fits right in until Bossuet remembers that mermaids do not exist, at which point he turns to Joly and says, much louder, “There is a _mermaid_ in the _lake_.”

“No there isn’t, love,” Joly tells the crossword, yawning.

Some things cannot be expressed through the modes of human communication, not even interpretive dance. Bossuet puts his mug down very carefully on a nearby table, collects Joly from where he’s sitting on the kitchen counter, drags him over to the porch, and points. There is still a mermaid sitting calmly on the edge of the dock twenty feet from them. “See?”

Joly makes a little noise like he’s dying. “There is a _mermaid_ in the lake, why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

“I can hear you,” says the mermaid, turning to face them, and both of them squeak and clutch each other a little. “You could come down and say hello.”

“Combeferre may cry,” says Joly, _sotto voce_ , and tows Bossuet down towards the dock.

She is not wearing a wetsuit (or anything, Bossuet may love Joly to distraction but that doesn’t mean he’s not human. A sentient humanoid being. He needs to rapidly revise his language). She does not seem to be an actress hired by Grantaire to fuck with them, or a weird neighbor with a tail fetish. Which is a legit life choice, obviously, Bossuet is not knocking it. But it’s still not what she is. She’s just … a mermaid. With lots of smooth brown skin and a really lovely purple tail with a big flipper she’s twitching back and forth in the water, and a lot of crinkly wet dark hair spilling over her shoulders and half covering up her gills. Which she has. Because she is a mermaid. And also covering other things Bossuet is not looking at because he is a gentleman (even if he is really curious if mermaids count as monotremes since it is really clear they suckle their young but also may possibly lay eggs).

“I’m Musichetta,” she says, which is nice. That’s the question they should be asking instead of things about the existence of mermaids, or impractical questions about their scientific classification. That's Combeferre's job. Combeferre will definitely cry.

“So, welcome,” says Joly, very slowly. “To what do we owe the honor of you outing your whole species to come say hi to us? I’m Joly, and he’s Lesgles, which is why he’s not too good in the water, but we call him Bossuet because our friends think they’re clever.”

“Which they are. But they waste it on obscure historical and literary references instead of puns,” says Bossuet. “Speaking of which, I suspect you have a tail to tell.”

Joly, always easily distracted by puns, shakes himself a little and grins. “Is something fishy going on?”

“Why don’t I dive right in?” says Musichetta, as easily as if she’s been doing this with them for years. “One of you dropped your glasses in the lake yesterday, I thought I should return them.”

“Me,” says Bossuet. “If it’s dropped, it’s me. Never on purpose. Um, do you often return the belongings of tourists? That seems like a great way to be exposed to the press.”

“Only the handsome ones,” she says serenely, and holds out Bossuet’s glasses, which she’s apparently been holding the whole time. Her hands are webbed, that’s interesting. “And there aren’t many of those. Besides, I'm a tourist here myself.”

“Mermaids can be tourists?” Bossuet asks, which is rude. Obviously they can be, because Musichetta is one.

“She's too brightly-colored to be native to fresh water, right?” says Joly, who takes lots of science classes, which is great, maybe he'll know something about scientific classification. Taxonomic systems of mermaids. If this is a dream, Bossuet never wants to wake up.

“Exactly. But I like lakes in the summer, they're nice and quiet and sometimes they're murky enough that I can swim with good-looking men.” She raises her eyebrows at them, and Bossuet considers explaining that they come as a package because they are bonded on the astral plane, but he suspects she has guessed that. She seems fairly on board with it.

“We are honored to be included in that,” says Joly, who’s still wide-eyed. Bossuet can’t blame him. Mermaids. He feels like he should call his baby sister and make her entire life a better place. With Musichetta’s permission, of course. “We’re definitely handsome. And glad you didn't wait for the water to get murky, because I don't go swimming then.”

“Extra handsome,” she assures them. “Only the best treatment for the two of you.”

“You might say he’s a catch,” Bossuet says, because he can’t help himself.

“But there are other fish in the sea.” At least Joly’s addiction is as bad as his.

Musichetta laughs and slips off the dock into the water, barely splashing. Bossuet respects her style. “Are you coming in for a swim, then? You don’t want to sit around on land all day.”

Bossuet isn’t going to ask twice about that. In a second, he’s out of his shirt, Joly dithering for a second behind him before they grab hands and jump off the dock. They are going to regret their wet boxers later, but it is going to be totally and absolutely worth it.

Musichetta is next to them in a second, laughing, surfacing in the middle of the mess of bubbles they made. “You humans aren’t very graceful in the water.” Her smile goes mischievous. “And I’ll bet you can’t keep up, either.”

With that, she darts away in the water, and Bossuet swims after, because there’s really nothing else to do. She’s faster than either of them by a lot, but she lets them catch her anyway, a few yards out, just where they can't touch bottom anymore. “I don’t think racing is fair when we don’t have tails,” Joly complains. “We’ll never catch you.”

“Maybe,” she says, grabbing each of their hands and towing them easily behind her as her tail makes powerful currents in the water, “all you have to do is use the right bait.”


End file.
